It's Never Too Late To Find Your Voice
Write, Speak, Talk and Create Like Nobody Is Paying Attention
On a dreary winter’s day in February of 2006, in suburban Chicagoland, I fired up my Mac and got to work building a “blog” and writing my first post. Around a year later, my world had changed—I was rapidly building an audience, had an article published in BusinessWeek, and started getting invitations from all over the world to speak at events. It was somewhere in that first year of blogging that I “found my voice.” This is something I’d learn a lot about by reading the writing of my friend Ann Handley, who is a master of “voice”—what it means to have one and the value it brings to the lives of others when you take your voice to the table whether it is a conversation, a POV, or a business dealing.
The thing about finding your voice is that once found—you can lose it.
Unlike when I began finding my voice, I can’t remember exactly when I entered a phase of diluting my voice. Still, it probably had much to do with my perceived corporate identity, which I wrote about recently. Anyone who is a lover of any art form (music, acting, visual or written arts, etc.) knows that it’s rare—that when an artist reaches a certain level of success—they retain that magical creative force that led them to fame in the first place. The ones who somehow keep tapping that well or rediscovering it stand out as artists who endure. I think that the act of discovering and rediscovering our voice—is a lot like that. There’s a secret to all of the above, and maybe you already know it—that secret has something to do with the below sentiment:
Nobody cares what I think...
OK, let’s unpack this curse and gift because it is both. The curse part—we cut ourselves off at the knees when we tell ourselves this and believe it. It has the power to silence us before we ever even attempt to speak, or it can also take away any authenticity when we do. If you genuinely believe that nobody cares what you think, you will create from places that aren’t true to yourself—you’ll convince yourself that others have more important things to say or that your voice needs to be invisible. Now for some creators—this is a superpower and, with discipline and intention, can turn into a career. It’s this way for anyone who works in commercial creativity—you aren’t working on your art; you are using your artistic craft to add value to something else. Most of this piece is unrelated to that—we’re talking about finding your voice in service to your art.
Now, here’s where believing that “nobody cares” can be the most significant gift that you give yourself. When we create for ourselves vs. creating for others—we are being the most faithful versions of ourselves. It’s why so many people will shy away from art that feels “manufactured” because we’re searching for truth, and when someone is expressing what they believe as truth, we can’t help but notice that. I’ve often known that my best writing comes when I write for myself, to work something out in my head or to work through an emotion in my heart. If it helps others out in the process—cool. But I am doing it for myself.
There’s a catch, however. You can lean into the idea that it’s liberating to believe that nobody cares what you have to say, but you REALLY have to believe it. Like most people, artists want to be loved, accepted, and appreciated (especially for their art). Still, when an artist becomes too attached to outward signs of success—how many pieces of art they have sold, how many subscriptions they have achieved, how many books they have sold, etc., they become accountable for this and the pressure to be that comes into play.
One of my life’s mentors is someone who has been at the top of their game in the corporate world, managed large P&Ls and portfolios of business, and somehow remained reasonably authentic in the corporate world despite having such success as a senior executive. He was an artist all along and now works on some of the most impressive sculptures I have ever seen—and he is doing this in his retirement. His voice was there all along and only became stronger as he shifted his full attention toward his art.
I’ve mentioned art and creation often here, but finding one’s voice does not mean you have to be any of the above. It does mean, however, that you have to be willing to express yourself for yourself and nobody else. If you find that this resonates—you may be on your way to using your voice for some purpose that brings meaning into your life, and that is all for us to figure out on our own time.
We’re brought into this life with a more straightforward sense of self, and as the years go by, we find all kinds of ways to conform to what others think we should be, say or do. But our voice, ultimately, is our own. It’s also ours to discover and sometimes re-discover in life and all the seasons that come with it. I recommend that you do both if possible, and it’s up to you to find the best ways. But you’ll probably become a more authentic version of yourself when your voice is your own.
Superb reminder.
“Read, every day, something no one else is reading. Think, every day, something no one else is thinking. Do, every day, something no one else would be silly enough to do. It is bad for the mind to be always part of unanimity.” ― Christopher Morley
As someone who lost his voice and is searching to get it back, thank you for this.